


Music makes you lose control

by mariathepenguin



Category: Pitch Perfect (2012)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 05:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/635691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariathepenguin/pseuds/mariathepenguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beca likes to keep her music and the outside world separate, as a rule. But the Barden Bellas (and Chloe Mitchell especially) don’t let her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Music makes you lose control

When Beca is fourteen, a friend of hers takes her with him on the way to pick up weed from the local dealer. The dealer turns out to be a college kid camped out in his parents’ basement, but he redeems himself a little she spots the controllers and decks laid out neatly on a side table.

Even at fourteen she knows that she doesn’t want to be the kind of person that freaks out when she sees something she really wants. So she waits until the dealer and her friend (who isn’t really a friend, but he makes really good fake IDs) start to play call of duty before she wanders over to the equipment.

‘Do you DJ?’ She jumps. The dealer, Dan, or Dave, or something, is standing right behind her.

‘Not really,’ she says. ‘I don’t really have my own stuff.’ Dave, or maybe Dell, smiles and turns a computer on, and Stronger by Kanye West starts to blare out of the speaker. Dave (she’s pretty sure he’s Dave, actually) starts to fiddle with the system, slowing it down then speeding the song up so fast she winces. He crossfades to song after song, and when he gets to Waiting on the World to Change Beca finally cracks.

‘Can I try,’ she says, aiming for nonchalance and mostly succeeding.

‘Sure,’ he says easily, and she wonders at his willingness to let a stranger play around with his incredibly expensive equipment before she sees the glaze in his eyes, and she remembers why they actually came here.

He ambles over to the couch in the middle of the living room and Beca concentrates on the song playing. On impulse she sifts through Dave’s music collection until she finds another song she likes, and she uses his awesome music system (seriously, she can’t believe he’s letting her do this) to play the second song at the exact right moment.

She listens in satisfaction as the songs crash into each other, and Dave whoops from his place on the couch.

‘You go, kid,’ he shouts. A part of Beca wants to snap that she is not a kid, but the rest of her is scanning through the rest of his collection, looking for music that she can twist to fit to the beats she can hear inside her head.

 

*

 

They leave an hour (or maybe three) later. Beca’s friend is so high that she has to hold onto his arm to stop him wandering onto the road, and it takes another hour to get him home okay, but all Beca can think about is the music on the CD that she had made, just before she left.

And that’s how it starts, with music burning its way into her and settling over her like a second skin, a protector that she can sink into whenever the outside world is too stupid, or too disappointing, to deal with.

Four years later a red-headed girl barges into her shower stall and forces her to sing. She is naked and expectant and clearly very serious about not moving until she gets what she wants, so Beca opens her mouth and her voice sweeps out. A second later it is met by a high, strong voice that floats on top of hers. Calm blue eyes stay fixed on her own as they sing, and Beca has to remind herself to take a breath when they finish.

When the girl’s –Chloe, she remembers- voice trails off Beca’s fingers tingle with the same hot-cold feeling she gets whenever she finishes a new track.

‘Come to auditions,’ Chloe says, and Beca nods. She doesn’t move for a long time after Chloe leaves, listening the to the last of their music fizzing around her skin.

 

*

 

Being on the Bellas is an experience that Beca spends roughly the same amount of time enjoying and regretting deeply. The hours-long practices and Aubrey’s ever-emergent issues are a huge negative, and the other girls fall somewhere on a scale from hilarious (Fat Amy) to most likely psychotic (Lilly may not think anyone can hear what she mutters to herself during dance sequences, but she does).

The music itself is a huge plus. The Bellas use the four or so minutes that Aubrey hasn’t allocated to song practice or cardio or voice exercises (‘ _reach_ for that note, Beca! I want to hear your voice _soar_!’) sitting around and harmonizing, trying out new songs.

(Making music with their mouths, a chipper voice reminds her)

And Beca finds herself mixing their sound into her music. She blends in voices that sound like Cynthia Rose and Fat Amy and even Aubrey, and there is a clear soprano cutting through almost every mix she makes, these days.

The most confusing part of the Bellas, however, is Chloe. Chloe skips past the part of normal social interaction where people take time to get to know each other and gets straight to hand holding and midnight texts with stuff like ‘what’s your favourite season’ and ‘I’m gonna take you for pie tomorrow. Tell me what you like’.

And the worst part is, Beca doesn’t do anything to stop it. She lets Chloe run her hands down her arms when she’s showing Beca how to make a square with her hands and she lets Chloe rest her chin on her shoulders and play with her hair like it’s been happening for years. Like Beca doesn’t have a personal space bubble so solid that her own mother hesitated before giving her a hug when she left for college.

But personal space isn’t a concept that resonates with the kind of person who thinks that forced duets with naked strangers are acceptable things to do, so Beca just has to accept that being a part of the Bellas means being around somebody who strides into her space and leaves heat across her skin.

 

*

 

It’s not that Beca’s stupid. Or socially inept.

(hating people doesn’t make you socially inept)

She has a pretty good idea why her vision goes weird when Chloe’s around, or why she (maybe, kind of) leans into Chloe whenever she’s close.

It’s not even the fact that Chloe’s a girl that makes Beca’s skin itch at the thought that she might (maybe, probably) have a pathetically big crush on her.

It’s the fact that she’s spent the last ten or so years avoiding people like Chloe like the plague, because their insincere happy crap and seamless blending in has always kind of made her skin crawl. She’s never had anything in common with them.

But Chloe isn’t like that. She’s warm and kind and she’s a terrible liar and there’s just something about the way her hands feel framing Beca’s side that makes Beca want to create a whole new category for people like her.

‘Beca.’

Chloe slips into the seat opposite hers.

‘Sorry I’m late.’

‘No problem,’ she says. Chloe smiles brightly across the booth and picks up the menu. She only scans it for a second before putting it down.

‘The usual, Ed,’ Chloe calls when she sees the waiter starting to make his way towards her, and he waves before turning around and making his way back to the kitchen.

‘You’re quiet today,’ Chloe says finally, after their milkshakes have been dropped off.

Beca shrugs.

‘I was just thinking.’ Chloe looks at her expectantly and she flails for a second before coming up with something that she could have been thinking about. ‘My mixes. Luke’s not playing them. And I don’t think he’s going to any time soon.’

Chloe frowns, indignant. ‘That’s crap. You mixes are the best.’ She grins. ‘I’ll talk to him for you. I can be very persuasive when I want to be.’ Her eyes glint in a way that makes Beca’s stomach tighten.

‘No! I mean, no thanks. Thanks, but no. I can handle it,’ she says quickly.

Chloe isn’t Stacie – but Luke has washboard abs and a horrible smirky smile and Chloe doesn’t have any personal space issues and the no-sex table is right next to the booth

And just

No.

‘Oh, ok,’ Chloe says. She looks a little hurt and Beca reaches across the table and covers her hand with hers.

‘Thank you,’ she says, more calmly. ‘That’s really sweet of you.’

Chloe looks kind of embarrassed and shy for the first time ever, and Beca gives her hand a squeeze before letting go.

‘Here you go, girls,’ Ed says. He sets a huge pile of pancakes in the middle of the table.

‘Thank you,’ Chloe says, shooting one of her fucking adorable grins at him, and really, it doesn’t even make sense for Beca to be blushing when Chloe isn’t even looking at her.

‘Come on,’ Chloe says, already drowning the pancakes with syrup. ‘I haven’t had any sugar this whole week and I’m about to go crazy.’

 

*

 

Beca spends so much time wondering how it’s possible that she’s managed to develop a crush on someone like Chloe that it takes an embarrassingly long time for her to start seriously wondering whether Chloe might actually feel the same way.

That’s probably the first thing that most normal people would wonder about, but no one has ever made Beca feel as wrong-footed and off-kilter as Chloe has, and that is more than enough to keep her occupied.

But soon she starts to notice that Chloe is pulling back, just a little. She hesitates before she pulls Beca into a sideways hug and her fingers skim over Beca’s wrists instead of holding on tight.

At first the space calms Beca, gives her a chance to try to regain some of her footing, but the extra inches of space that Chloe starts to leave – during movie marathons and their semi-regular coffee dates and the ‘sit down and listen to Aubrey lecture’ part of the practice- start to grate. There is a strange kind of joy she gets from the dizzy feeling she has when Chloe is around, similar to what she imagines people who enjoy roller coasters feel.

Now she has to wonder whether she’s been letting off some kind of ‘I want to kiss you’ vibe that’s scared her away.

That, added to the fact that Regionals are coming up and half of the Bellas’ hand squares still look like circles shifts Aubrey into overdrive. Beca is pretty sure that if they don’t stop doing something other than Eternal Flame soon then she’s going to go insane.

So Beca does what she always does and she buries herself in her music. She leaves aside the lighter and more pop-inspired mixes she’s been making lately and she mixes deeper, slower bass notes with shrill electric guitar. She’s left with an ugly, screeching mess that makes Kimmy Jin scowl, but Beca takes comfort in the hearing her own frustration thudding through her headphones.

 

*

 

The riff off isn’t anything like Beca expected.

It’s pretty much the opposite of all the Bellas rehearsals, and it’s amazing how different they sound and act. There is energy ripping all around the empty swimming pool and Beca watches as Aubrey, of all people, leaps into the circle to give a pretty decent version of hit me with your best shot.

They still lose on a stupid technicality but the riff off is the most fun Beca has had in a while, and that’s enough to carry her through Aubrey’s ‘why do we all suck so much’ speech.

It’s tradition for the winning group to hold a party right after the riff off so they all troop over to the Trebles’ shared house. The music is so loud that Beca can hear it walking up the drive, and when she gets closer she thinks she can see the windows shake.

The living room is already packed. The High Notes are all piled onto the same couch, staring at the ceiling and smiling at whatever it is they can see, but the other acapella groups are spread out all over the living room, laughing and talking over the loud music.

They stand together in an awkward clump before one of the trebles comes up to Fat Amy and asks her to dance.

After that the Bellas disperse quickly. Stacie wanders off in search of alcohol and Cynthia Rose quickly follows, and Lilly just seems to kind of fade away. Aubrey gets pulled into conversation with one of the Madonna lovers and soon it’s just her and Chloe, standing near the door.

‘Come and get a drink with me,’ Chloe says into her ear, and Beca shivers.

She lets Chloe grasp her hand and pull her to the drinks table, and soon an oddly coloured drink is pushed into her hand.

‘Drink up,’ Chloe shouts, and Beca takes a sip.

The rest of the night mushes together into a long stretch of dancing and drinking and laughing (Fat Amy is even funnier when everyone’s drunk). Beca knows that she spends a pretty huge chunk of the night on the dance floor, with Chloe pressed behind her and guiding her hips to the beat of the music. Chloe’s hands are warm and firm and so very present that Beca lets the rest of the room lapse into a mess of pretty blurry colours, and she relies on Chloe’s hands (and skin and breath tickling the back of her neck) to keep her grounded.

Then the alcohol starts to wear off and she is squished onto a couch with a snoring high note on one side and Chloe on her other side. Beca cranes her neck, trying to see what’s going on in the room because she doesn’t remember seeing any of the Bellas in what feels like hours. A hand cups her cheek and drags her back down.

‘Beca-a,’ Chloe half whines.

‘What?’ she says. Chloe’s hand slides down a little so her hand is curving at the back of Beca’s neck and Beca can’t help it; her body leans in closer.

‘Nothing,’ Chloe says. ‘I just wanted you to look at me.’

‘Well, I’m looking,’ Beca says, as dryly as she can when she’s still half drunk

(it turns out that drunk Beca isn’t very good at being sarcastic)

And her voice comes out breathier than she would have liked.

And Chloe doesn’t say anything after that; she just holds the eye contact, so Beca looks back. She takes in Chloe’s flushed cheeks and messy hair and the pinched, hesitant expression that is completely at odds with the hand that she still has slung around Beca’s neck and the comfortable way their bodies have bowed into each other.

‘You’re so _pretty_ ,’ Chloe says, rushed and almost jumbled together like she really didn’t mean to say it at all, and she looks even more scared after that and

Fuck it.

Chloe’s lips are soft and smooth and after a second of startled shock she just _sinks_ into the kiss. The hand she has around Beca’s neck pulls her in closer and Beca lurches forward, bumping their noses together.

‘Sorry,’ she mutters. Chloe huffs and kisses her again. This kiss is longer and deeper, and sends arcs of heat all across Beca’s body. Her arm comes up to grip onto Chloe’s bicep and stroke the soft skin there, and Chloe whimpers into her mouth.

‘Chloe.’

Chloe shifts and pulls Beca even closer, and Beca winds her fingers into Chloe’s hair.

‘ _Chloe_.’

Beca manages to break out of her haze enough to finally realize that Aubrey is standing over them. She has her hands on her hips and her eyes are bugging out of her head.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ she hisses.

It was pretty obvious what they were doing, Beca thinks fuzzily, but Chloe answers before she can say anything.

‘Aubrey, leave it,’ she says, her voice only slightly slurred.

‘Chloe, I thought-’

‘ _No_ , Aubrey,’ Chloe says. Her voice hovers as close to angry as Beca has ever heard it and Aubrey’s hands slowly drop from her hips. She turns to Beca.

‘Walk me home?’

Beca nods dumbly and she lets Chloe pull her off the couch and out of the front door. The cold air takes away the last of the effects of whatever it was she had been drinking, and Beca feels her body start to sag with tiredness.

 ‘Hey,’ Chloe says. Her usual easy smile is still a little tight around the edges, but the hand that’s still holding hers pulls her closer.

It’s kind of crazy how easy it is for Beca to just lean into Chloe’s body, like her lips aren’t still tingling from their kiss

( _God_ , she can’t believe she actually did that)

And her pulse is still beating strong in her neck. But Chloe is calm, and clearly happier now that they’re out of the Trebles’ stuffy living room. She lifts their joined hands and gives them a little spin.

‘That party was so lame,’ she proclaims. ‘We’d have done it so much better.’

Beca thinks of Stacie’s dancing, and Lillie’s bartending skills and Fat Amy’s, well, everything, and she can’t help but agree.

‘It was okay,’ she says instead.

Chloe looks at her, and her eyes glitter in the dim glow from the streetlights.

‘Some parts were pretty great,’ Chloe says.

‘Yeah, the music was pretty dec-’

The second kiss Chloe gives her builds on the last one like they hadn’t stopped at all, and Beca has to brace her free arm on Chloe’s to keep her balance.

‘That-that part was pretty good too,’ Beca says when they break apart.

Chloe laughs, and her face looks the most relaxed it’s been since they left the Trebles’ house

 

*

 

Beca wakes up the next morning wrapped up in a pair of warm arms and hair tickling her neck. It takes her a second to remember why that is, and when she does she has to freeze to stop herself from jumping out of bed.

The arm around her tenses even at her slight movement and Beca does her best to stay still. She stares at the smooth neck and graceful curve of the shoulder that’s about three inches away from her nose and tries to keep her breathing steady so she doesn’t wake Chloe, but it doesn’t take long until she feels her stirring.

‘Hey,’ she says unsteadily.

The hand around her tightens for a second before pulling away, and Beca sits up. She runs a hand through her hair to try to smooth it down and twists around so she can see Chloe.

‘Are you okay?’ Chloe asks. She is still lying down, her eyes flicking across Beca’s face, and seeing her own nervousness reflected in Chloe’s face makes her stomach twist. She runs a hand through her hair, trying to flatten it.

 ‘About last night,’ she says, and winces, because that sounds incredibly lame. ‘I had a really good time.’

Chloe lets out a breath, all in a rush. ‘I had a good time too.’ The coil in Beca’s stomach releases slightly, but still. This is unprecedented territory. She’s not sure what they are supposed to do next, and she breathes a sigh of relief when Chloe’s hand creeps over her blanket and skirts along her thigh.

Chloe has a faintly anxious look on her face- a look that Beca realises she’s seen on and off for the past couple of weeks- and it only melts away when Beca covers her hand with hers. It feels warm and comforting and probably way better than a hand hold should, and she carefully threads their fingers together.

 ‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Okay then,’ Chloe says.

 

*

 

Being with Chloe is easy. Scary easy. It’s just like hanging out with her pre-kissing except all the sweaty shaky feelings can be safely channelled into cuddle and make out sessions that are pretty amazing. Now she doesn’t have to look away so Chloe doesn’t catch her staring, and she doesn’t have to stop her hands from wandering through Chloe’s fire-engine hair during their movie nights. And the physical stuff is only some of it.

When Chloe playfully presses kisses to her knuckles after watching the Princess Bride and sighs when Beca runs her hand through her fire-engine hair, she shakes something loose in Beca, and it’s harder to be cool and aloof when long hardened pieces of herself are crumbling all around her. Chloe and her coaxing patience would probably have had this effect on her even if they were strictly platonic friends, although it would probably have taken a little longer, so Beca is (mostly) happy to accept it as a side effect of being around her.

Even if Beca’s not exactly sure what they’re doing, because she’s too scared to ask, and Chloe seems content to go along with whatever makes Beca happy.

But about half the time she’s around Chloe they are at a Bellas’ rehearsal, and rehearsals are basically the opposite of easy. Fun, sometimes, and always interesting, but acapella is a lot harder than Beca gave it credit for in the beginning.

She has to give Aubrey some credit for basically holding everything together. If it wasn’t for the fact that the traits she likes the least about Aubrey are responsible for that she would probably like her a lot more.

Not that it matters that much anyway, because Aubrey didn’t like her from the beginning, and she likes her even less now that Chloe spends more time around Beca than Aubrey these days. Aubrey’s reaction seems less about jealousy and more an extreme _make good choices_ mentality that clearly hinges around the fact that she doesn’t think that she doesn’t think Beca is good enough for Chloe.

Chloe obviously doesn’t agree, but she has clearly never had to deal with an Aubrey this intense before, and her strategy seems to be to let Aubrey blow off steam until her anxiety runs out. It’s semi successful at best, and Beca wonders what Chloe would do if she ever actually called Aubrey on her crap.

After she refuses to take the solo at Regionals, Chloe pulls Aubrey aside and Beca tries not to watch them have what looks like a pretty intense but very quiet conversation. It ends with Chloe glaring and stalking away, and when practice is over Aubrey asks her to stay after and help her put the chairs away.

‘I don’t really like you,’ Aubrey announces, as soon as everyone else is gone. Beca shrugs.

‘I don’t like you either,’ she says.

‘But Chloe likes you. A lot.’ The slight curl in her upper lip lets Beca know exactly what she thinks of that, but she lets it slide. ‘And she’s made it clear to me that you’re not going anywhere, so ...’

‘So, what?’

Aubrey sighs, and gives a short, sharp nod, like she’s just decided something.

‘Be good to her,’ Aubrey says.

Beca chokes down a ‘duh’ and waits for Aubrey to finish talking.

‘If you ever hurt her, I will rip out your vocal cords myself,’ Aubrey adds.

‘Impressive threat,’ Beca says, in spite of herself.

‘It’s not a threat. My dad doesn’t believe in threats, just plans.’

‘Okay, then,’ she says.

Beca has spent enough time with Aubrey to recognise that this is the closest to acceptance they are going to get anytime soon, and they finish stacking the chairs in silence.

 

*

 

They lose the semi-finals.

They lose the semi-finals, and everyone thinks it’s her fault.

Which it wasn’t. All she did was give them a fighting chance. But none of that matters with Aubrey coming down on her like a raging bull, too angry to let her get a word in.

‘I didn’t-’

Aubrey’s cheeks are flushed red, and her hands are curled into fists by her side.

‘I knew this was a mistake. I knew it!’

‘I just wanted us to win!’

‘We would have, if you had just stuck to the _plan_ ,’ Aubrey growls. Her eyes are overbright and shiny, and Beca watches her furiously blink back tears.

‘Your plan wasn’t getting us anywhere,’ she retorts.

‘Beca, stop,’ Chloe says. She is standing next to Aubrey, a steadying hand on her arm. Aubrey chokes back a sob and Chloe’s hand tightens around her elbow.

‘You’re off the Bellas,’ Aubrey says.

Beca looks around the rest of the group clustered around them; at Lilly and Fat Amy and Cynthia Rose all doing their best not to meet her eyes.

She looks at Chloe, but she is still frozen next to Aubrey, looking at Beca and pleading with her to try to make it right.

‘Fine,’ she says. She turns and walks out of the back stage area.

She is in the dressing room gathering up her things, when Chloe rushes in.

‘Beca, wait-’

She shoves the rest of her stuff into her bag. ‘I have to go. Jesse said that he’d ask Benjy to take me back.’

‘Beca-’

‘I have to go.’

Chloe’s hand closes in a vice grip around her arm and she jerks to a stop.

‘What did you expect me to say? You came out of nowhere! How did you think Aubrey was going to react?’

Beca tugs her hand out of Chloe’s grasp.

‘You know I did the right thing,’ she says again. ‘I did what we needed.’

‘We didn’t need you to _hijack the whole performance_ , Beca!’

Well. She’d always wondered what Chloe would look like if she was really angry. Some distant part of Beca’s mind notes that she is as lovely as ever, and that only makes it worse.

‘If that’s what you think,’ she says. The anger has burned away as easy as it came and now she just feels cold. ‘I mean, if keeping your peace with the person who doesn’t respect you enough to let you actually speak at meetings is more important than expressing your own fucking opinion, then I guess I really am done.’

She’s never spoken to Chloe like that before, and she takes a certain dark satisfaction with watching the hurt spread across her face.

‘I have to go,’ she says, again, and she walks out of the room.

 

*

 

It takes one week being out of the Bellas, with complete radio silence both ways, for Beca to realize how much time she actually spent with her. No one calls her, or Skypes her, or even sends her a random text.

It’s an uncomfortable return to her solitary life before she had come to college, and she tries to spend it how she used to back then; burying herself in music.

Except it turns out that having friends and actually belonging somewhere isn’t something that can be lost in beats and tracks and mixes and all it does is blend with her music, invading the only thing in her life that she’s managed to keep separate from this kind of disappointment.

Even if it’s partially self inflicted. Because she knew how Aubrey would react. She just wanted them to be _good_.

She tries her best to block all that crap out from her music and it all just comes out wrong, like she’s lost the ability to hear chords and match rhythms.

She goes to see her dad just so she can be around other people, and he’s surprisingly... fine. Helpful, even. He’s still kind of the douchey guy that left her and her mom years ago and forced her to go to college, but he loves her, so much, and she doesn’t really feel like she’s in a position to turn away people who actually want to spend time with her.

She’s just got back to her dorm after a pretty okay dinner with her dad and the stepmonster when her phone rings. Her stomach tightens when she sees that that it’s Aubrey.

‘Chloe’s in the hospital,’ she says. Beca sways against her bed.

‘What happened?’

‘Her nodes,’ Aubrey says. ‘She decided to get them removed.’

‘Is she okay?’

She can feel Aubrey rolling her eyes even through the phone.

‘What do you _think_?’

Beca sighs.

‘Why are you calling me, Aubrey?’

‘Just go see her, Beca.’ She hangs up the phone.

Beca puts down her phone, turns her laptop on and spends five minutes mindlessly checking her mail before she grabs her jacket and runs out of her room.

 

*

Beca stands in the doorway of Chloe’s room, just watching her. She’s asleep, her face curled up into a little frown and her hand clutched tight around her phone. Beca seriously considers just leaving, but Chloe’s eyes flutter open, and she lets out a little gasp when she sees Beca.

‘Sorry,’ she says.  Chloe’s lips tighten and she looks away. ‘I know you can’t talk, and stuff. So if you want me to leave just, um, shake your head.’

Chloe still isn’t looking at her, but she doesn’t shake her head either, and Beca takes a hesitant step into the room.

‘I thought you weren’t going to get the surgery,’ she says. Chloe’s eyes fill with tears.

‘No, I-listen, I’m sorry,’ she says. Her feet carry her forward and she sits down on Chloe’s bed, near her feet. She reaches out and rests a hand on her ankle.

‘It just hurt too much,’ Chloe rasps, in a voice so small that Beca wouldn’t have heard her if she hadn’t moved closer.

‘I was kind of an ass,’ she says. Chloe doesn’t try to speak again, she just looks at Beca and waits to hear what she has to say.

‘I shouldn’t have... and I shouldn’t have yelled at you. It’s just I liked- like you so much, and I was just hurt and stupid and angry. I mean, we _really_ should have talked about this, what we were doing, before. Chloe-’ she awkwardly shuffles up the bed and takes one of her hands in hers.

It’s weird being the one that’s taking the leap, that’s laying herself bare. It’s a kind of giddy thrill.

‘So, I just really want to be your friend. And your... girlfriend, if you want. But friends are good too.’

Chloe kind of just looks at her for a second, before she lifts their joined hands and presses a kiss to Beca’s fingers.

‘Okay, good,’ she says. ‘But, what exactly are you saying yes to?’ Chloe rolls her eyes and tugs Beca closer. She presses her lips gently against Beca’s cheek, and she just holds them there for a couple of seconds.

When she pulls back she is smiling, for the first time since Beca walked in.

‘How did you know I was here?’ Chloe rasps.

‘Oh. Aubrey called me.’ Chloe’s eyebrows rise in surprise. ‘I know, weird. I guess she was worried about you. Chloe rolls her eyes.

‘She worries too much,’ she says quietly.

Beca shrugs, and she nudges Chloe over so she can squeeze in next to her. Chloe’s arms wrap around her and hold her tight, and Beca rests her head on the curve of Chloe’s shoulder.

It’s kind of crazy how the hospital smell and the slightly sweaty scent of Chloe’s skin makes her feel more at home in Barden than she ever has, but there it is.

 

*

 

A few days later Chloe texts her and tells her that the Bellas are going to Nationals. She tells her that the Bellas need her, and she has to come back.

And Beca does. Because she misses the Bellas, and singing. She also understands Aubrey a little better now, so the sucking up isn’t as awful as it would have been a month ago. Chloe backs her up too, like she had said she would if Beca showed up, and on the whole being back on the Bellas is pretty great.

And now they are standing in the middle of the pool where the riff off was held, instead this time Beca is standing at the front of the group, the other Bellas forming an expectant semi-circle around her.

‘Okay... Aubrey, pick a song?’

‘Just the way you are,’ Aubrey replies happily, and Beca quickly reshuffles her mental arsenal of songs to find one that will fit.

‘Okay then,’ she says.

Chloe looks scared but determined about taking the lead and Beca starts them off. The Bellas’ voices flow together like they never have before. She feels the music swell and dip behind her and she watches Chloe as she sings, stretching to the very edge of her newly limited range.

Beca listens and keeps time and Chloe sings to her, for her, they are all singing for each other and _this_ is what they’ve been missing all along. If Beca was the kind of person who cried easy she would be.

Instead she forms a circle with the rest of the girls when the song tails off.

‘Okay, aca-bitches,’ Aubrey says. ‘Break on three.’

Even the perfectly timed ‘ahhhs’ sound in tune. 


End file.
